Q: Life has become hard for me, I get hurt and upset and feel guilty that I am upset. I read books on self-help, but it is not really helping me. In office, my boss scolds me, and I feel bad all day. Is there a way out?
A: Why do you hold on to the upsets and hurts? You are upset, if you allow it; without any internal wording it will fade away in one or two minutes. But worrying about that upset is the disorder in which the mind is caught up.
Why do you not let go of the upset? There are so many genuine emotions that are more meaningful and you lose sight of this. If you give attention to reliving of the upset, you will find that it has been a mechanical habit and nothing more than that.
The moment you are upset, gently speak to the upset and say, “It is OK. I am upset. I will understand it and not be a victim to it.” In this process, it will pass away, with a lesson. Learn to talk to your hurt and see what happens. Also, after the gentle talks as above, good emotions that you have of the person who has hurt you will arise and you will find them to be in abundance. Give more reality and more life to that positive emotion and see your life enhancing.
Q: But why is the mind revolving around the upset?
A: Mind is a product of habit and you become a victim to the habit. Habits take time to drop. Learn to practice what I have said and see. Just say “stop” to your clinging and give power to that effort, then the habituated error will end. Mind is detained by some habit. End that negative habit. In spiritual practice, this is called stopping of the “mind delusion”.
Personality, good or bad, has a lot to do with our living. Wise living has to do with awareness and allowing it to uplift you. Awareness is allowing room for the natural self to unfold. Mind with its habits, errors, and delusions will interfere when you want it changed. Stopping it with effort, with awareness, is wise practice.
Don’t look for a theory as to why the mind is spinning. Stop the mind with effort and awareness. Continuously practicing this will make you lighter in your life. Practice is the best part of spiritual discipline. No matter what situations or work zone you are in, give it attention, give it awareness and do with fullness of inner alertness.
It may be cleaning of the floor, or washing the dishes. Catch your habitual thoughts that say, “I hate dish washing. I hate when someone scolds me.” Put an immediate stop and just bring in energy of joy in doing your work. The mind may drift to old habits, and the reason it drifts is because that is its identity. Mind likes to reside in what it is familiar with. Stop all your inner consideration, and just enjoy your practice. Whatever life gives, just give it attention and wise practice.
People love theories and not practice. One is used to concepts and not the actual. Discard this disorder and order will come.
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